by Niveda A., Milpitas
The Ghirardelli Chocolate Caramel Squares TV Ad is the worst piece of video media ever produced in the history of mankind. Every time I watch it, an intense wave of rage and hatred sweeps through me. To clarify, I am not exaggerating. The ad features a stressed woman opening a drawer to find a Ghirardelli chocolate caramel square inside of it. Nobody keeps one single piece of chocolate in a drawer, out of fear of it melting. As soon as the chocolate comes into sight, hopeful, uplifting music starts playing. The woman proceeds to take a bite of the chocolate and sinks back into her chair with a satisfied, blissful look on her face. Cue a barrage of positive imagery, with the uplifting music increasing in intensity. First of all, Ghirardelli chocolate is horrible. That woman had no business looking that content after biting into the worst abomination to curse the candy industry. Secondly, even if that chocolate was of the highest quality in the world, just one bite of it would not increase mood to the degree shown in the ad. The second part of the ad features a quite deep woman’s voice reciting a script about how Ghirardelli chocolate caramel squares are crafted with love and feature a “luscious caramel filling.” The amount of caramel inside of a single square of chocolate is grossly high. It utterly demolishes the entire experience of consuming chocolate from that brand. The ad ends with the woman claiming that Ghirardelli “makes life a bite better.” It is not possible to make life a bite better, because a bite does not have a fixed amount of dopamine units attached to it. This may come across as harsh, but Ghirardelli is a brand that offers horrifically low-quality chocolate in exchange for disgusting amounts of money. I feel that this justifies me to exercise my right to freedom of speech, protected by the First Amendment.